How to Ask Your Partner for What You Want
Sometimes, being honest with your partner about what you want in the bedroom can be challenging. Maybe, you feel like you’re being high-maintenance, or you’re afraid to hurt your partner’s feelings. Regardless of the issue, if you can’t tell your partner what you need to satisfy your desires, there is no guarantee you’ll ever get it.
One of the reasons why heterosexual females are routinely less sexually satisfied than their counterparts is a lack of communication about pleasure. Telling your partner what you want is sexy, and it’s crucial for a mutually satisfying relationship.
How do you begin voicing your desires, when asking for what you want seems as daunting as climbing Mount Everest in flip-flops?
Start With Praise
There is a magical formula for voicing your desires without hurting your partner’s feelings:
Compliment
Ask for a change
Acknowledge the change with praise
Here’s an example: “I love how your lips feel on my neck. It would feel even better if you could gently bite me in between kisses. Oh, yes, just like that, it feels amazing.”
Honesty is Sexy
Biting the bullet and telling your partner what you truly want is more romantic than pretending to enjoy something you don’t like. Your partner will appreciate your guidance, and chances are, they’ll be more than happy to pleasure you the way you desire.
Make Some Noise
Sounds like moans, grunts, and heavy breathing during sex are all a part of communicating! If you’re enjoying something your partner does, don’t hold back. If you can verbally tell your partner you like what they are doing, all the better. A few shouts of “Yes!” and “Just like that!” can go a long way. Even if explicit words fail you, don’t shy away from enhancing your display of pleasure using non-verbal communication as well.
Show, Don’t Tell
If using words and making sounds are not your thing, then use your hands instead. This is the perfect time for a little show and share. First, take your partner’s hand and guide it to a place on your body where you want to be touched. Then, hold their hand and show them how you would like to be pleasured. Let them ease into your desired rhythm and help them feel your perfect amount of pressure.
Be Patient
You and your partner are on a journey together exploring each other’s bodies and pleasure zones. Not every new technique will come quickly or easily. Take time to be patient. The more care you put into truly listening to one another, the more responsive you will be to each other’s needs.
